February 2012
2 posts
“Making a mess is a lot easier than cleaning up a mess.”
January 2012
3 posts
“Happy birthday…”
– Before even opening her eyes this morning
November 2011
1 post
October 2011
1 post
“When I’m 18, can I have the iPad?”
September 2011
2 posts
bedtime on 9/11/11
M: I’m giving you extra hugs tonight.
A: Why?
M: There are a lot of people who are sad today, because some bad people hurt a lot of other people on this day a long time ago. And they can’t give hugs to their kids and mommies and daddies anymore. So it is a sad day, but it is also a special day because there were a lot of people who helped other people that day, too.
A: How many...
“Thank you, doors.”
– To the automatic doors at Target. My commitment to insisting on polite behavior has been successful.
August 2011
5 posts
Captain America
[Captain America trailer plays on TV]
A: Mom! Mom! I want to see Captain America!
M: …You do?! Uh, okay.
[5 minutes later]
A: Can we invite boys to go with us?
M: No, we cannot invite boys to go with us.
[5 minutes later]
A: Can we invite Dominic from my class to go with us? He really likes Captain America.
M: *facepalm*
[the next day]
A: I asked Dominic if he could come with us...
“Come on, you can do better than that!”
– To her merry-go-round horse when it first started going.
“Give me the “first-of-alls.”
– She wanted me to go down the list of reasons why she should not have hidden her pack of gum in her room, e.g. “First of all, you’re not allowed to have food in your room.”
“*gasp* A SQUIRREL! Mommy, I see a squirrel! Today is a lucky day.”
July 2011
1 post
“I’m Mrs. Broken! I break everything! I broke my heart!”
– After breaking her “favorite” bracelet
March 2011
1 post
Happy Birthday, Princess-Face.
You are 5.
!!!
We were so excited to wake you up and wish you happy birthday this morning, except when we opened our bedroom door, we found you curled up on the couch. You got up early to help yourself to birthday-morning cartoons.
Also, the Tooth Fairy is coming to visit for the first time any night now. I tried and tried to convince you to let me take your (extremely) loose tooth out this...
February 2011
1 post
“ARGH! My hair is showing up!”
– Static electricity
January 2011
3 posts
Angry Birds math
Arissa has to earn 5 pennies (through good behavior) to play a game of Angry Birds. Recently, she earned a penny and followed Steve to the change jar. “What’s that silver one?” she asked. Steve explained, “That’s a dime. It’s worth TEN pennies.” “Oh!” she exclaimed immediately. “That means I could play Angry Birds twice!”
“CHICKENS. EAT. HAM.”
– ???
“You broke a child’s heart!”
– To Steve, when a game of keep-away got a little out of hand.
December 2010
1 post
“When Mommy turns 100, will we get a new one?”
– (to Steve)
November 2010
1 post
“It must be the Moose Catchers!”
– An SUV plastered with eco-friendly bumper stickers, one of them being a silhouette of a moose.
October 2010
3 posts
dogs.
A: Can we get two dogs?
M: Uh, we’ll start with one, someday.
A: Okay. I want a yellow dog named Martha.
M: Where did you get that idea?
A: I thought about it from my big brain.
[5 minutes later]
A: I changed my mind; I want to call the dog Suzy, not Martha.
M: Why do you like Suzy better?
A: Because Martha’s duuuumb.
fall (and utter self-assurance).
A: Mommy! Something is EATING THE TREES.
M: No, honey, it’s fall… The leaves are falling down off the trees, see?
A: No, that’s wrong.
dinosaurs!
I think it’s a requirement that all kids must pass through the dinosaur obsession stage before they’re allowed to graduate from childhood. Arissa is in it full-force. Her favorites, which she can identify and pronounce far better than I can:
* Ankylosaurus
* Cephalosaurus (which, according to her, “hoots”…as opposed to an owl, which “whoos.” beware the...
September 2010
1 post
Days of the week.
“Mommy, what day is it tomorrow? You know, like Tuesday… Wednesday… Garbageday?
August 2010
3 posts
“Mommy, you’re a genius.”
– And I felt like one, knowing full well that this is probably the first, last and only time I’ll ever hear this come out of her mouth. (All I did was give her some stickers for decorating birthday cards.)
Where the wind goes
A: Mommy, where’s the wind?
M: Huh?
A: WHERE. IS. THE WIND.
M: It’s just not windy today; there is no wind.
A: But where IS it?
M: Well, I guess it’s just somewhere else, the wind blew away to another place.
A: [clearly unsatisfied]……….I bet the strangers stole it.
“When I say, “I love you,” it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have...”
– Joss Whedon (via redcloud & co.) (via slackmo, raindropsonredroses)
July 2010
4 posts
“Mmmm…This sandwich is my favorite flavor: MEAT.”
– Nana’s recipe for Souper Sloppy Joes.
Or, brain freeze.
I’m allergic to ice cream because it makes my nose hurt a little bit.
June 2010
1 post
On spiders.
A: I know how to kill a spider.
M: How do you do that?
A: You STEP on ‘em, and then you DIE ‘em and then you WIPE ‘em.
M: Who taught you that?
A: mmmmmME!
May 2010
2 posts
Uncle S: “You’re a sasstronaut.”
A: “Not the way I see it.”
touche.
A: Can we go to McDonald’s?
M: No.
A: Why not?
M: It costs too much money to go there a lot, and besides, it’s not very good for you.
A: Why do you like Sad Meals?
April 2010
4 posts
Mom=jungle gym.
M: Why are you being so squirrely?
A: Because I like squirrelling!
Just realized I never answered the question.
[shortly after putting her to bed]
“Mommy?…Mommy!….MOMMMYYYYYYY!!!!!!”
[I burst into her room expecting a trip to the ER]
“What’s a cartwheel?”
“T-Rexes have TWO fingers…[demonstrates]…How can you be scary with...”
– Dinosaur Train? I don’t know.
“I’m all jammied!”
March 2010
6 posts
I'm not sure, actually...
S: I got a new job, but it’s far away in a place called Delaware.
A: *gasp* …Are there WOLVES there?
off the charts.
3’ 8-3/4”
45 lbs.
after getting 4 shots
A-a-at l-l-l-least I ha-ha-have m-my i-i-i-C-carly st-stickers. (From her Happy Meal that we got before the appointment.)
waiting for the doctor to come in
A (getting antsy/snotty): I’m going to put YOU on the table.
M: I’d like to see you try.
A: Welllll you’re too heavy, sooooo… I’m going to make you DO IT. YOUR. SELF.
“NINE DOLLARS?! That’s serious!!!”
– McDonald’s is expensive.
“I love you more than little tweet-tweet birdies.”
– First thing this a.m., sleepy-faced, with said little birdies tweet-tweeting outside her window.
February 2010
6 posts
I’ve been teaching Arissa about the concept of left & right lately when we’re in the car. When I use the turn signal, I ask her which direction the blinking arrow is pointing. She’s pretty much got it down. A couple nights ago, she correctly answered “Left!” and I said “You’re correct! Good job.” She then asked, “Do I get a treat?” I...
“Nana, you’re Mommy’s Nan-…you’re Nana’s...”
– Figuring out family relationships.